Trans People Can’t Just Live
I’ve been part of a problem. We all have, and transgender people suffer for it.
So, you think you understand gender better than a transgender woman who is older than you. Oh, my apologies, I’ve started off by speaking only to my transgender audience; I should, in fact, be speaking to all of us, because we’re all harming trans people on a near daily basis. For a basic idea of what I’m talking about, consider the role women occupy in our society. On the one hand, if you’re a woman people can be obsessed with, say, your appearance in a negative way, judging your perceived flaws. They can also be obsessed with your appearance in a seemingly positive way, deeming you praiseworthy. Or, if they’re self-aware, they might openly acknowledge their lack of concern with your looks, which itself still centers your unqualified but essential “otherness.” You’re in a fishbowl, and have the peculiar sensation that everyone is either staring or actively trying not to stare.
Queer identities complicate this issue. For a woman flirting with another woman, there can be an acute sense of irony in the simultaneous one’s love of another woman’s appearance and hatred of the self-conscious regard for one’s own appearance. In truth, this is never a barrier to relationships, but it can be a barrier to psychological validation. Jokes abound in the queer community about “useless lesbians” who…
